A Sense of Self

It is amazing to see how two people with such similarities as those found in The Autobiography of an Ex-Colored Man by James Johnson and Quicksand by Nella Larsen can have such distinct personalities from each other. The child hood and even the events of later life correspond greatly in the Ex-colored man’s and Helga Crane’s life from their family and even who they associate with. Despite these similarities the Ex-colored man has a naivety that doesn’t dissipate and Helga Crane would hold an escapist need and dissatisfaction.

                Both the Ex-colored man and Helga Crane both had white, absentee fathers. These fathers play a strong role in the lives of both these individuals. The Ex-colored man’s father supported his mother despite the fact they would not marry and he would later go to marry another. The love his mother felt for his white father also allowed her to deeply love her son. She shared her time with him and made the Ex-colored man her focus and would give him the skills that would lead him through life, his music. Her love, I believe, also kept her from marrying another. Crane would not have this caring home life. Her mother did not lavish her attention on her daughter. She would marry again for financial stability. Crane’s stepfather would resent her and would lead to Crane’s critical view of the world. She had no place at home and would struggle to find one elsewhere. The Ex-colored man would be more at ease in wherever he went. He would have the advantage of looking white and was in a position to change his status because of this.

                The Ex-colored man has a different perspective, a white perspective, compared to Helga Crane. They both have the same parental background but the color of their skin changes their opportunities. The Ex-colored man can choose to ignore the race problem if he wanted to but Helga is submerged. This is most evident by the two rich individuals in the stories.  The Ex-colored man, through the Rich man’s employment, is taken away from the very place where the Ex-colored man would need to question his place and the race question. In Europe his music was what mattered, not if he was a black or a white musician. The Rich man himself need not question his place in a world with white power do to him being a white power. Crane’s rich friend Anne would not allow for this avoidance. Anne herself is black and very much involved in what is called the race question. Talking about race is her main topic because of this she can never place race aside and gain true equality. She judges others of her race for who they associate with and in what manner. This leads to some of Crane’s dissatisfaction.

                The dissatisfaction both these individuals felt would come from the inequality blacks have in society.  The Ex-colored man, despite his ability to appear white to others, could not escape his unfulfillment. He knew who he was, a musician, and played black music. His conflict was to have the safety of having white skin or fulfill his needs to play and gain recognition for it. His children would be the deciding factor of choosing to live as a white man but this required the denial of his race. His ability to take an active part in gaining recognition for blacks that would allow him to find his place in the world was taken by putting his children first. It was a high price to pay. Helga Crane also felt dissatisfaction do to her place in the world but I feel this is less because of her color. I believe Crane had expectations well beyond equality. She expects a very particular person and full acceptance of her. This probably wouldn’t happen even with equality in place. She would not have acceptance from her family, either black or white, and she had very little tolerance for those in her life. Both these characters would suffer for their lack of place in the world.

                The race question is not one easily answered as the Ex-colored man and Helga Crane would find. It wasn’t just about making your way, both managed to find work and friendly people to guide them, but it was about finding satisfaction. When a large part of the population is set against you and the other part unambitious it results in inner turmoil for both these characters. Even with a life time to search and the ability to travel and start anew these issues of who you are is not easily answered.

We Are All Choking

Choke by Chuck Palahniuk

What to say about social commentary? For someone this book is true and too close to home, ok for more than someone. For the rest it isn't something we can relate to with just the details but strip those away and it, whatever it is, fits everyone. It really does. Victor is a man who needs sympathy but can't get it, nor does he feel like he should get it, and needs a good reason to get it. Oh God the monkey and the chestnuts it's almost too much yet it remains a great way of looking at power. Celebrities, politicians, they are all asses if you know what I mean. They may not all fall into that category but the point is you don't know if they do or not. No matter what, chestnuts in the ass or not, they have to look, act, be some way. We assign them notes even if they are not true. To top it all off we want that ourselves. Victor doesn't even know what he would want out of being that person, he doesn't have the right word.

Really the point of the story is obvious. All the characters are drowning.

I wish I could say more about this story but I'm really not sure what. Either way Palahniuk is very good and bringing the parts of society that tend to get ignored into a book.

Cherry Orchard

The Cherry Orchard by Chekhov

A play written in 4 parts

Much of "The Cherry Orchard's" adaptations would be written as tragedies but really it is a funny play. Ya people die at the end and they lose everything but the small moments are what counts. If you do have the right humor you can see where a guy who works his way to riches, but comes from a slavery background, buys the home out from under the owners of his family is funny. Extra points if the girl your taking it from was super sweet to you and you loved her for that. Extra, extra points from him coming home to a dead body on his porch. The rest of the stories humor come from its slapstick presentation. Humor aside what is "The Cherry Orchard" about?

In "The Cherry Orchard" even happy memory's took on an anxiety and disconnect. The characters longed for the old days in an unhealthy way. They made themselves sick on it. Their very ideas are altered out of reality by the way the characters think things should be. Music shows the flow of memory within the play. The first sounds of music is a loan piper in the early hours of the morning. This reflects well on the winding down conversation into a time of sleep. Yepikhodov's playing seem to come most strongly during times of serious or sad topics, such as the history of slavery in Russia's history. The waltz played by the orchestra allows for more one on one interaction between the characters. Later they would stop playing to highlight the need for attention to be placed on Lopakhin's news about the cherry orchard. The soft music they start to play after fits with Liubov's pain.

Liubov's personality is reflected in Dunyasha. She works herself up and gets very emotional. She wants to get married but isn't sure she even wants to marry Yepikhodov. Liubov would have all her troubles come from a man. Dunyasha, in her attempt to act like an upper class individual, fails to see how that life really works. Liubov isn't happy and does not know how to do anything for herself. She is stunted. Lopakhin, who knows what it is like to come from slavery, fails to provide kindness, something he was shown by Liubov, when he gained his fortune. Even if the cherry orchard was cut down he could have offered to keep the house for Liubov. There is also Firs to consider. He really got stiffed.

The string breaking to me means a break in the tension. The subjects are too much and need a change. However these changes are a time of confusion, no one knows what to do. This would be why the characters mistake the sound for others. The moment is being seen differently and their actions do not reflect their needs. The moment is all about ideals rather than what they can do. That is partly why it is a sad sound they are missing part of the moment. The other reason it is a sad sound is because their is a parting in that moment of change.

Quote #1

"If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor" -Albert Einstein

In a way quotes have been tailored to be a truth themselves. They have been selected out of all possible comments as those worth saying and as having enough elegance to be worth repeating. These words are the highlight of the lives of the best and brightest. They are the words of truth as these people see them. The truth has come in only the messiest of ways the voices we listen to for truth have gained it through hardship. There are many ways how a truth is found. Take archeology as a starting point. All of our history often comes with digging in the dirt. Forensic science is how courts learn the truth of a crime. These unpleasant truths come with many an unpleasant smell. We know who uncovers the truth but who are the tailors?

Underground

Notes from the Underground by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I already know this is a book I will need to return too. I can only begin to talk about the inclinations presented in this book. Consciousness, the awareness of self and others, is the main concept within this book. The question is the effects of this consciousness but I feel this isn’t the important view point. It is more important to ask what we will do with it. Consciousness is here, it is not going away. The first bit I needed to reconcile with myself is my wondering if the Underground Man really is conscious. Obviously part of him has to be. He sees too much in himself and others to not have awareness; however what are its limitations? The limitations to me are he does not address the possibility of changing thoughts and actions. The Underground Man will stay the same by his own demands but what does this mean for the reader? Nothing, seeing as the Underground Man states, in the end, we are all underground. You have to make of that what you will.

Limitations are the best way to talk about what the underground is. Consciousness only allows us to see what our situation is. Consciousness does not tell us how to change the situation or our perceptions. In this case, yes, we are all underground. Is there a way out? The enlightenment brings with it the belief that the more we learn, the more we observe of the world, and the better we’ll be. I’m siding with the Underground Man on this one that the concept is flawed and will not work. There will always be an Underground Man, which is how the system works. To be alive is to adapt and often this comes from some weird goof, something that can be good or bad, who knows that isn’t too important.

Another way out to consider is books. Lisa was the first to bring up books and it comes at a key point, while her perspective was changing. Books are the best way to see the world through another person. It expands our view farther than we can. Lives and ideas are changed through words. At the same time the Underground Man was not changed, only Lisa. With her we do not know to what extent she was changed. The most important piece would be not that she changed, but the fact she would have changed because of someone else. The prostitute is the only redeemable person within “Notes from the Underground.” This is remarkable seeing as she is not in an admirable position. No one would like to be her and in her spot in life. At the same time we want to live with youthful hope and openness. The cruelty and carelessness of others is something to be rejected. Even the Underground Man knows we do this and calls it out as he speaks with us. What makes her so different? For one thing she is in a lowly position and has no filter. By this I mean she is not in a place to ignore others. Because of this her reactions gain an admirable quality. The dignity she shows is the last thing she has to lose.

The Underground man also clings to what he is at risk of losing as well. His view of himself is the only thing he regards. How he looks to others and his superiority is what his focus is on. He cannot see others without forming an opinion they must hold about him. He cannot see others only versions of himself in them.

Death Star: Final Thoughts

Death Star by Michael Reaves and Steve Perry

I try not to run away with more intent then was probably placed in a story but when the main plot point is an explosion of everything the story was about, and you know it is coming before even starting, all that is left is reading into the meaning. I’m going into my final thoughts with only vague feelings. I only have a few things to say. Nova being force sensitive is interesting when paired with his interest in philosophy. This pairs thinking and intuition. These are almost polar opposites but in this case the pair together saves him, figuratively of course. His interest in philosophy allows him to have ideals but his intuition allowed him to act. This is also in contrast to Tenn Graneet. He believed it when he was told the ultimate weapon wouldn’t be used, as if a weapon has ever failed to be used. Weapons are always used at least once before the impact of what the weapon can do is realized. This happened with nuclear weapons, there was fear there, mass fear, for years but only after they were used. Graneet didn’t think passed what he was told and he suffered for it. In the end there was no redemption for him. Teela and Vil are another contrast but in this case it brings harmony. Teela was all about structure, which is a requirement for her being an architect, and Vil needed fluidity in order to adapt to situations as a pilot. Both are needed in society.

Rodo, we don’t know much about him other than Memah saying he values beauty and his ability to keep those around him safe. Did he love her, in what way, did he not? I don’t think it matters. What is important about him is he saw the world and he acted when needed without false pretenses. He showed loyalty without expectation and through this he found contentment. Motti, Dalla, Tarkin, who cares. I will say I was disappointed in Tarkin’s last thoughts. I found his only real admirable trait is keeping things in perspective. He aimed big sure but never dismissed possibility and what he saw before him. Yet at the end he lost that all-encompassing perspective. As for Memah and Ratua, I should probably say something about stability, I’m just not sure what.

The Death Star itself can be seen as one big metaphor but for what? In this case I feel there is one good answer and that is the Death Star is society. There was a big emphasis on many types of people within this story. All walks of life and social standing was present along with types of relationships. It isn’t a stretch to say that society is the way to view the Death Star. What is important though is what the meaning of its destruction is. The Death Star is a society that did not meet the needs of the individuals in that society and could not sustain itself do to this.

Memiors of Douglass

 Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass

You can’t call a person material goods but it was tried out. That’s what I had to think about with this memoir how do I want to look at this, are they people or are they objects. I picked the second, it is more revealing, simply because of how we treat objects. We take care of what we own, most of the time, yet slaves never saw this. Why treat what you own so poorly? The answer is simple, they never could be seen as property, it just does not work. Too much can be seen in a slave is what a slave owner saw in themselves. This is clear with how slavery worked. Two major parts of being human is language and the other is bonds. It is obvious why slaves are taught not to inquire about reading and no one should show them how. This is a way of not only controlling them but also of distancing what makes them human. What better way to distance yourself than to believe that something can never understand what ever human knows? Even the Irish, who had to work till they were 21 to pay for their trip to America, could understand basic language fairly well. Not only are the slaves being made to be less human they don’t fully understand this. They know they are not treated well but there are gaps. Douglass at the start does not really see his situation till the power of reading was pointed out to him as being dangerous for him and his happiness. Happiness is controlling to, Master Thomas even said to “depend solely upon him for happiness (93).” There is a name for this it is Stockholm syndrome and comes from abuse and results in a disorder that causes the abused to feel a lack of abuse as a kindness given to them.

Feelings are how slave holders first condition slaves into this twisted dependence. Douglass himself never had a chance to see his mother. I’m sure we can all imagine what she must have felt knowing her child was somewhere that he could not be protected by her. This wasn’t something that came up within this memoir but it is possible for slaves to wonder if their children would be used against them if they did not please their masters. Beyond that they had to depend on their master for the very right to be with family. This creates an even stranger dependence on a slave’s captors.  Even if it may bring out a form of control families are still split up. There is a reason for this. Being around family can give strength and consolation resulting in a slave being emotionally better off. This isn’t good for a slave owner. It may be better in the long run to have an emotionally dependent slave than a family group. A group would be harder to control. This type of thinking takes a strange and difficult turn when you take into account who the fathers of a lot of slaves are. The fathers of some slaves are their white masters.

There is a lot of change to how the slave trade works when you father children with a slave. How can an individual see a part of them as not as human as them? Well they can’t but it is scary to think that people would go so far for money, after all to sleep with a slave should be an act of bestiality. Beyond that think of the legitimate children of such a man and what they must think, never mind about the wife. To think what must pass through her head as he lays next to her at night.

You would think that slavery and its evil would be the greatest lesson learned from Douglass’s memoirs but I feel there is another that impacts more, at least in more modern times. The reason for this is the lesson, at least in the United States, of slaver being wrong is generally agreed with and frequently taught. Those that don’t agree, the sex trade, ect, know it is seen as wrong and hide the activity. I feel there is something important that Douglass brings up that we do not consider as important, from what I’ve seen, the act of collaboration. Douglass showed great love for those he brought together in learning to read. His working with others made his situation better with them there.

Women are the individuals Douglass looks to in order to see how the world should be. He also uses them to describe the deprivation that slavery holds. Men are shown as those that act out violence while women suffer for it. There was one real striking exception in Demby but his pain has little description, comparably, and is short lived. His mother shows how women are deprived of their caring natures by being removed from their children to be seen “four or five times (517).” The women within Douglass’s memoirs are not shown as rebellious as men, no acts of achievement in learning or striving to be free is shown. Even if there is no outward act he views them as being in need of respect. This need is shown best through his view of his grandmother. She is shown as a woman of great achievement as she had many children, as well as having brought wealth even if it was not hers to use.  “She had been the source of all his wealth (537).” When meeting his new owner in Baltimore he saw purity in her. She is used as, by far, the most powerful example of slavery harming the slave holder. She represents the loss of goodness through this act.

Douglass, Fredrick  The Norton Anthology World Literature. Vol. 2. New York: W.W. Norton &, 2013. Print. 

 Douglass, Fredrick. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass. Boston: Anti-Slavery Office, No. 25 Cornhill, 1845. Ebook Reader.

Death Star: Darth Vader

Death Star by Michael Reaves and Steve Perry

Chapter(s): 11

 

 I almost feel I should have waited on the last essay and finish chapter 11, though I didn't have much to say up to page 200 so maybe it is for the best that I didn't. The extra time gave me some ideas though. My thoughts on Vader have changed. I’m sure most think of him as having turned evil. To me, now at least, it feels almost like he hasn’t and is using his own force powers to do so. There is also an allegory to a phoenix within the first paragraph. Yes it is meant to show how he died, came back, and changed. The thing to remember is the phoenix is still the same bird. It is also important to remember it has a positive connotation. When we first see him he says he is still Anakin Skywalker in some ways. Palpatine clearly started his brain washing but all this time Darth Vader has been reinforcing it. “He let the dark side take him, let it envelop him in anger and hatred (72).” It is almost like he can’t keep it up on his own. Really if he is good the whole time and is using his suffering to power up his force power that is just twisted.

I’ve been thinking about the force lately. I don’t know much about it. The Star Wars books I’ve read focused on other characters. With the mentions of it in here I have wondered about a few of the details. It says that the force, at least in Vaders control, has the ability to stop hearts. If it can do such a thing why isn’t it seen more? I thought about it and came up with something I feel works. I believe the body has a resistance and it takes time, that is often not available, to overcome if it is possible to get by at all. It is kind of similar to how Obi-Wan were able to distract the Stormtroopers from the droids. It isn’t a stretch to see how that was orchestrated. They were not sure what they were looking for so it wouldn’t be too hard to overlook them. Now with your life in the mix it gets to be a bit more complicated. First of all your body can betray you if you are panicked and afraid. There is also a mental part to it. If you fear something you have to believe it can do you harm and lower the resistance you would hold. All and all pretty useless against a Jedi or someone who isn’t of a weaker will than the force user. This isn’t to imply there isn’t still a physical aspect like how objects are moved but there is a new quality in the use with a person’s own will.

 Reaves, Michael, and Steve Perry. Star Wars: Death Star. New York: Lucas/Del Rey/Ballantine, 2007. Print.